February 7, 2012

More thoughts on life after death.

None of us has much in the way of personal experience to go by when thinking about what comes after death. Unless you've had a Near Death Experience or unless you have had something else happen to you, what do you rely on? I spoke with someone recently who reported experiencing a strong smell - a clean smell of her father some time after he had died and been removed from the home. It's an amazing experience which she shared with her mother and which meant a lot to them. But what can that tell us? It made them feel that they had somehow made a connection with a loved one who had "crossed over".

As for me, I "saw" a vision of my father shortly after he died. I was, in fact, laying in his old bed looking up at the ceiling when I saw a smokey image of my dad thanking me for coming.  I can picture it to this day. Whether it was something my mind put together in the form of an image, it was as real to me as the chair I'm sitting in. Whatever it was, I felt that it was a very real connection with my father, almost a day after he passed.

So I try to put this all together in the context of what I believe in or what I am learning to believe.  I believe we are all created from energy and that this energy vibrates at different frequencies (Why do I believe this? Why not?). Clearly, there would be a substantial attraction between energies that resonate at the same frequency. We see this in real life as we find ourselves attracted to some people (spouses, lovers, friends) more so than others. If you follow this line of thinking, then the "soul" or "essence" of a person would have a pretty strong vibrational attraction to their earthly body and this attraction would likely take days to pull apart completely. Even the Buddhists believe that the soul remains with the body for several days. I saw my father. My friend smelled her father and both of us derived peace from the connection. Whether it's a vision, a dream or even a smell there would seem to be some kind of purposeful communication from our loved ones who have passed on.

This, of course, is intrinsically tied to a belief in an afterlife. If the alternative is "lights out"..... nothing..... then I choose to believe in an afterlife. I just don't know what form it takes exactly. Yet.

But this belief is intrinsic to who we are. I think, deep down inside, we all believe that there is something "after". It helps us to live and enjoy our lives on earth and to not feel like we are wasting our time so often. There are atheists and humanists who don't believe in life after death but I can't help but think there is something missing from their lives. They probably wouldn't agree, but I couldn't do it. Here are some other aspects of the Universe that I "believe".

The larger, Spiritual Universe is like an ocean full of currents and eddies with energy forms constantly floating, drifting, touching, sharing, dispersing, and combining in infinite variations. When we die, our own spirit melts into that ocean and we become part of it again in a different way. We bring with us the sum total of all of our experiences in our earthly bodies, experiences of the body, experiences of the mind, the result of interactions with other energy forms or people. We bring our fears, our happiness, our anger, our love... everything that made us who we are. In this way, we contribute back to the Universe in a small way or a big way, depending on what we've been through.

I also believe that striving for good, living life, and experiencing all that life has to offer develops the soul - the personal and the broader spiritual - in a good way and, incidentally, defines a life of worth. Striving for evil and for material things has the opposite effect and, in effect, devalues our lives and the contribution we can make.

If you think about this - if you bring yourself to believe this, there are two kinds of immortality. We are immortal in the sense that the enlightened/experienced energy of our existence feeds back and adds value to the greater spiritual universe. That is true immortality. But we also derive immortality back on the earthly plane if we have truly lived a life of worth and, in so doing, have contributed to make life on earth a better thing.

Do you see how all of this ties neatly together? You can choose to believe one simple thing and it branches naturally into a broader belief system. And as I've said many times, It doesn't have to be provable for me to believe in. In fact, we can choose to believe something that is unprovable precisely because it is! Ideas like eternity and infinity may be expressible mathematically, but that doesn't prove anything to me or many others yet they are acceptable root beliefs for all of us.

And as I've also said before, I don't care what you believe and I don't care if you don't accept my beliefs. The beliefs you choose are very personal. They are entirely up to you and they are only meaningful to you. I am sharing mine essentially as they are developing to show you how important and how personal they are. If it gets you thinking about your own belief system, then I'm very happy. I'm beginning to realize that everyone needs something to believe in. I'll have to think about that some more!

PERSONAL UPDATE

Things have not been going well for me lately. The last few days - almost a week - have been incredibly bad. It began with waking up to an horrendous pain in my right shoulder, resulting in having to ask my daughter to take me to the hospital and a final determination that it was an existing metastasis which had grown enough to start causing me noticeable pain. I have had to increase my pain meds to manage this extra pain and now I am dealing with an order of magnitude increase in fatigue. I can hardly keep awake anymore (no matter how many Red Bulls I have) and, when I am awake, I find myself forgetting more and more. I hate it! I hate it! It is so frustrating and it makes me worry about how much longer I will have with a reasonable degree of productivity. It's a real concern. In the meantime, I'll keep writing.

To my new readers on Facebook, welcome!
Doug

34 comments:

Dianne Gosling said...

Thanks Sweetie for sharing your personal thoughts. It has been a very stressful 2 week period for the entire family. I watch Doug getting more and more fatigued each day and it makes me really sad. Sad for him that he may not be able to get all the things completed in time. I see him struggle finding words ... Have to admit our daughter Caralia and her fiancé John would say hey Dad is like Mom now , lol. He never ever feels well anymore and has to push himself to do anything. He has to sleep all day to have some energy. I see him every minute of every day and it breaks my heart to witness this. It wasn't supposed to be like this. We always dreamed of retiring and getting a place on a lake and just enjoy all our moments together. Cancer strips away everything - your health, your mind, your independence, in the case of some prostate cancer patients their ability to be intimate, your ability to really choose, and then it sucks the life out of your family and when they are at their lowest point it decides to take our loved ones away. I hate cancer with a passion. My prayer is to have my "Dougie" with me for as long as I can and as long as he is not overwhelmed with pain or having difficulty breathing (I know he fears this). I know their will be a time when I will have to give him permission to go ... I know he will want to be with me for as long as he can. I want him to be comfortable, pain free and surrounded by everyone who loves him...I hope the room is big enough to hold us all in. He is my soulmate and my life really began when I met him...In my heart I feel we will meet again...that is my dream. Doug, don't make me wait too long.

Anonymous said...

I have been reading your thoughts and beliefs about death. For me, being a Spiritualist for decades now, you are very much on the right track! I have had many instances of proof of survival after earthly existence has ended. And let me tell you, loving connections between souls exist long after physical life is gone. Bless you.

Lori Hope said...

I am sending massive amounts of love- So very sorry for your pain, both of you, Dianne and Doug - and deeply deeply grateful that you are sharing your wisdom. I particularly liked this part of your post:

"We are immortal in the sense that the enlightened/experienced energy of our existence feeds back and adds value to the greater spiritual universe. That is true immortality. But we also derive immortality back on the earthly plane if we have truly lived a life of worth and, in so doing, have contributed to make life on earth a better thing."

I leave town Mon. for 5 days in Mexico- hope to write about you and death/dying/life/living before I go- but may end up writing it for my Huffington Post blog, which I think is more widely read. I spend more time on those essays.

Also want to let you know I read
"Enjoy Every Sandwich: Living each day as if it were your last" by Lee Lipsenthal, MD, who was dying of esophogeal cancer. I found it very comforting as I consider that I too will be or rather am dying. I don't know if you would find it at all helpful but thought I would mention it.

My dad used to say, "I'll save a seat for you at the bar." I look forward to pulling up a seat next to him at whatever the "bar" is, be it on the atomic level or beyond some pearly gates - and I look forward to pulling up a seat next to you as well. At last we will meet!

Big hug to you both,
Lori

Russ McGowan said...

Thank you Doug, and thank you Dianne, for sharing your thoughts. Doug, your post of 7 February is so interesting and enlightening. Being a spiritual person I identify with all of what you have said, and believe it to be true. In the future, in the great beyond, we will all be together again and beyond the grasp of illness and death and evil. And in the meanwhile I hope we all have a great deal of quality of life (and time) ahead of us. Thank you so much for sharing your incredible and warm thoughts and insights.

Heather Blackwell said...

Interesting post.

When I was 12 I learned that energy cannot be destroyed. Hence there are two types - Kinetic and Potential. When you are awake and alive you are kinetic. When you are at rest, the energy is potential. But whether awake or at rest, you always are.

My father believed that we were probably aliens choosing to live life on earth, and that the human body was just a vehicle to help us indulge in this earthly experience.

An interesting story comes to mind that I want to share. I was camping alone on a remote reserve on Manitoulin Island in the days preceding my dad's passing. I had borrowed a camp cot from my parents which didn't fit in my little tent, so I slept in my car. I had intended to stay until the Friday of that week, but on Wednesday, a very large dark bird, perhaps an eagle(?) flew low over where I was stationed. It seemed ominous to me, so I packed up my site, stayed the night and left Thursday morning.

I felt compelled to return the camp cot on the way home, and when I stopped in, my dad was not well - severe angina because he was taken off blood thinners for a colonoscopy scheduled for Friday. The doctor didn't order heparin, so the doc cancelled the procedure and told my dad to get back on his coumadin right away.

As I was leaving, my dad walked me out to my car, saying that he wasn't feeling well at all. I told him to have an early night and rest. He asked me how my holidays went. I cried, and told him that if I ever had to sleep in my car again to have a holiday, I wouldn't take one. He hugged me and said nothing. I hugged him and said nothing before I left.

He died the next morning, the Friday I was supposed to drive home from Manitoulin. I was glad I came home on the Thursday.

Now, the whole point of this story, re your post, is that a year later, my mother gave my sister and me a little bit of money for doing the work of selling their condo. I returned to Manitoulin just after Thanksgiving and stayed in a motel. Before I booked in, I went to a beautiful scenic spot and stood alone to admire it. I was feeling kind of bad that I didn't have a companion to travel with, and as I was experiencing that thought, I heard the sound of wings behind me. I turned and saw a raven approach and fly by, and in that moment I knew, I was convinced, that my dad had messaged me to say that "now that I'm not as you knew me, I am still with you. Enjoy your week!" No one can tell me differently.

I truly believe that no matter what state of energy we're in, we do remain. Where? Wherever we want to be.

May your beliefs grow stronger and sustain you, and if we're both wrong - what does it matter? Whatever gets you through your life is all right, all right.
H

DethKnite said...

Just wanted to spark a little thinking with this quote --

It is not death that we should fear, but we should fear never beginning to live. Marcus Aurelius

Mary Lou said...

I think you are an incredibly brave man, a hero of sorts. I think your posts will inspire and help those who are in the same situation as yourself. Thank you for sharing, I saw the newsclip on TV last night and it touched my heart that you would give back to the world so willingly and help those who are facing the ultimate culmination of life. I hope the wedding goes well. My thoughts and prayers to your wife and children. May the next chapter be heaven for you. Take care...

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